Being successful in any aspect of life does not mean always being right, always winning, and always doing things by yourself.
It is okay to not know an answer. It is okay to lose. It is okay to ask for help. It is even okay for these things to happen when others expect them not to.
This barrier that people put up and think is making them appear to be all-knowing and perfect, is actually the thing that not only adds unnecessary stress and anxiety to their life, but keeps them from reaching their goals.
The mindset we should strive to develop is giving a perfect effort, but being okay with a less than perfect result. Trying is good enough, and then we can learn from and build from our experience. You don’t have to pretend you know something that you don’t. You don’t have to be afraid of losing or making a mistake.
On the mats, this mentality pops up and every student would get so much more out of their training if they could eliminate it. Every time I see a higher rank begin “coaching” their training partner at the slightest sign that the lower rank student might be doing something well, inside I am cringing and shaking my head in disappointment. Don’t do this. It’s okay to lose to or get help from a student that is a lower rank than you. It only means that this student is also receiving good training - it does not mean that anything is wrong with you.
In fact, you will get better by allowing these circumstances to happen and getting the most out of them.
Your fear of losing is putting you in a position to lose more.
More growth comes from situations that we don’t know what to do, accept that, and then learn from it, than when we put on an act as if we know what to do.
You are not perfect, and you never will be. Neither am I, or anyone that I have ever met. Except my wife, of course. (Hey b!)
You will not get things right on the first try, but try anyway.
You will not know every answer, don’t pretend like you do.
You will need help from other people who have experienced what you are experiencing, don’t be afraid to ask for it.