We want to eat healthily…but we love good food.
We want to exercise…but we like to be lazy.
We want to quit smoking…but will probably just pick up another cigarette.
We want to quit drinking too much…but enjoy drinking.
We want to save money…but enjoy our lifestyle.
We want to eat more veggies…but chips taste better.
We want to read a book…but we love watching TV.
We want to take care of our planet…but still waste because it’s easy.
We want to live in the moment…but are always looking at our screens.
We want to be happy…but we are satisfied with just okay.
We want to make a change…but are ambivalent to do so.
Think about your own life and all of the things within it that you’d like to change. Do you see both reasons to change and reasons not to? If yes, you are not alone. This ambivalence is widespread for us humans, but the good news is that if you are at this stage, you are at least heading in the right direction.
You can view the steps to making a change as:
1. Someone needs to make a change, but they don’t see why.
2. Someone needs to make a change, and they see why, but also see reasons why things should stay the same.
3. Someone needs to make a change, chooses a path to move in that direction, and follows it (no matter what).
Today we are talking about step 2 - the ambivalence stage. This stage is where people get stuck for a long time trying to make a change. It seems with every step you take in the right direction, you are pulled back towards the other side by seemingly good reasons and arguments on why things should stay the same. We like them that way, and they are comfortable, easy, and enjoyable.
I’m here to tell you that is completely normal. Inside you though, you know that a change needs to happen. You know the lifestyle that you want to curate for yourself and long for it frequently.
When you’re ready to move from step 2 to step 3, you will finally make that change. When you are fed up with being ambivalent, you will pick a path out of your old ways and follow it. You won’t let the talk inside your head bring you back to sustaining the old habits. Until then, expect to remain stuck at the ambivalent stage.
When you are ready, willing, and able to move on, you will go for it. When you go for it, you will slip and fall and take steps backward. That is okay. You need to have an unlimited re-do button that you just hit over and over again (we call this the clean slate policy). You have to! Because if you are actually struggling with ambivalence, even when you finally decide to make a change, you will double back and fail.
But what am saying you know this already, right? How many times have you tried to ________________? We often make statements like, “I’m not going to eat any more junk food.” But of course, we inevitably eat junk food (sometimes embarrassingly close to when we just swore it off). Without the clean slate policy, we just give up. We assume we aren’t capable of making the change and just quit…until we get fed up with ourselves enough to try again.
So, what have you been longing to change? Are you ready? Are you willing? Are you able? Are you fed up enough to finally say “I’ve had enough” and do something about it? This time, it’s not going to be a start and stop. This time when you decide to make that change, stick with it for life. Go down that path away from the old habit and no matter how many times you fall, get back up and try again.
“To Fall Seven Times. To Rise Eight Times. Life Begins Now.” - Daruma
Towards the end of this year, we will begin accepting both male and females into our nutrition and lifestyle coaching program again. Our next group will start on Monday, January 1, 2018.
Input your name and email address below to be one of the first to receive notification when we begin accepting this next group.